In The Event Of Zombies, Please Exit In An Orderly Manner.

How would YOU survive if you ended up in the middle of a Corner Brook Zombie Apocalypse?

Imagine, if you will, driving home one night along Griffin Dr. It is a night much like many recent nights: black and warm, permeated only by streetlights on the ground, presided over by a luminous moon hanging precariously in a thick layer of clouds through which it can barely shine.

Leaves rustle on the road and fly away as you speed past, receiving a text. Foolishly you decide to take a peek and see if it is the one you have been waiting for… when suddenly, as you look down to read the message there is a hefty WHUMPH and CRASH as something heavy rolls up over the hood of your car and smashes the windshield.

You swerve to shake it off and pull over, alarmed. After composing your breath you step outside the car to see what it is you’ve hit… and discover it is not a question of ‘what’, but ‘who’. On the ground is a twisted body with an arm struck clean off, resting in the bushes. As you approach in horror the body lets out a long, haunting moan. You breathe a sigh of relief that the person is not dead at the very least, when all of a sudden is raises a grotesque and hideously decomposed face which screams loudly at you and begins to crawl while gnashing its teeth in hunger, reaching wildly for your flesh…

…Hop in the car and drive away, right? Easy? Just run it over a few times to make double sure then speed off…

OR NOT!

Hypothetically, you’ve stumbled on the beginning of some zombie apocalypse here on the island of Newfoundland. Who knows how widespread it is? Maybe you’ve stumbled on patient zero as it waded out of the bay and stopped the plague in its tracks. Maybe it came from inland and already Curling is overrun with the undead… so where do you go? What do you do!? If you don’t know the answer to either of these questions… well then it’s probably time you sit down with a notebook and plan out YOUR zombie survival strategy.

Seriously, do it, you never know. It’s like having a good fire escape strategy in that hopefully you will never have to use it, but at least it’s around if you do…

This past Sunday on the Cornerbrooker.com podcast, Tom Cochrane and I spontaneously asked listeners for their suggestions and we got a couple good ones – Terry Randell suggested that the Armory on O’Connell Dr is obviously the best spot because of its military affiliations and armed supplies inside. Western Star’s Chris Noseworthy suggested a survivor colony on Weball would be a solid choice. For MY money, Grenfell Campus is a solid choice because of it’s close proximity to a grocery store, massive amounts of space for cots and bedding outside of the residence already in place, not to mention its incredible vantage point at the top of a hill overlooking the city. From there you could send out some special groups to clear and fortify close by buildings like the Arts and Culture Center and the High School.

But that’s just us. Got any ideas of your own? Any strategies of important points within the city to fortify, various fallback points? Comment below and we’ll assemble it all into a solid Corner Brook zombie handling strategy for future reference, JUST IN CASE.

 

For the record, Ryan David Butt is incredibly afraid of Zombies and really very desperately hopes that they never actually exist at any time in the near future, or else he’ll be THAT guy who dies first… eep! Questions? Comments? Concerns? Drop a line rdb@cornerbrooker.com

  • Gerri

    I would fall into being a zombie. Why is zombie lifestyle considered a fail? I find it relaxing:)

  • Padraic

    If you make it to Murphy’s Square, you win. Canadian Tire for weapons, Dominion for food, Wal-Mart for everything else. It’s the ultimate survival square, providing you can stay alive.

  • Rick Grimes

    Moral of the Zombie Apocalypse Story: Don’t text while driving.

  • na nah na

    Grenfell wouldn’t work due to all of the ground level windows. You’d never be able to secure the building.

  • Glen

    Grenfell is only defensible provided there are a large number of survivors working together. Even then, it would be easy to get spread too thin over multiple buildings. By the time Colemans could be secured it would already be pillaged. My plan is Glover Island. Only a few landing spots to fortify, plenty of resources and ability to grow your own food. I’ve already claimed it though, so back off!